


curiosity killed the cat

by halloweensocks



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halloweensocks/pseuds/halloweensocks
Summary: emily’s questions about your and reid’s relationships leads to a spilled coffee, knowing another team member’s sexual adventures, and a promise from spencer.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 81





	curiosity killed the cat

you laughed, shoving emily’s shoulder slightly, as you swung your feet. 

“oh my god emily, i am not giving you all the nitty gritty details of my sexual experience with spence.” you scoffed, taking a sip of your mug filled with coffee. 

“c’mon (y/n)! you’re not just gonna date Reid, the epitome of adult virginity and then just not tell me how he is in bed!” she was exasperated, as she had been begging for answers since the two of you walked in this morning.

“emily, for the sake of my physical and emotional health, please please please leave me alone. we can talk about literally anything else except for how big Spencer’s dick is.” you still sat perched on the edge of her desk, and you took another large sip of coffee. 

“please! i will buy you all the shots you want on friday, please just give me anything, a small detail! i wanna see if he’s been holding out on us! he literally has sex with you but won’t even shake our hands!” she threw her hands in the air. “how big? 7? 8?” she gasped. “9?”

you snorted, taking another sip. “tell me how big derek’s is and we’ve got ourselves a deal.” you winked. 

“i-ive never -“ she stuttered and her face turned bright red. 

“see it’s embarrassing right? plus, it’s so blatantly obvious that the two of you have been having sex. you’re just jealous that reid and i were able to keep it on the low for a couple months.” you hopped off of her desk, running smack into the one and only.

which also meant you spilled hot coffee down his favorite shirt. 

you blinked for a moment, debating your possibilities. do you run and never look back or do you apologize and attempt to clean up his shirt? 

the second one seemed the only way you were getting out of this alive.

“ah shit, uh my bad dude. blame emily.” you began dabbing at his shirt with your hand, because that was totally going to work. 

“why don’t you have any napkins, why are you- you know what i’m not even going to ask.” he sighed, walking to the break room to get some napkins to try and salvage the shirt.

“are you mad at me?” you scurried behind him. 

“i’m not mad.” he stood and grabbed a handful of napkins as he tried to dab away the dark coffee stains. because of course you liked your coffee black. 

“your face is all screwed up like you’re mad.” you stood to the side watching for a few moments.

“are you sure you’re not mad, you seem pretty mad still.” you bit your lip anxiously. 

“first of all, (y/n), it’s been 2 seconds, second, i’m not mad i’m just perturbed.” he threw the napkins away, and surveyed the damage.

“what the fuck does that even mean?” you cocked your head.

spencer sometimes liked to use big words. big words were not your speciality. 

“it - never mind. i’m not mad though okay?” he rubbed the top of your head gently, trying to ease you. you both smiled at each other. 

“okay. by the way emily wants to know how big you are.” you planted a kiss on his cheek before running away.

“how big i am? what- oh. oh!” it clicked in his head and his face turned bright red.

“did you tell her?” he sat down at his desk which was conveniently across from yours. 

“i made a deal. if she gives me derek’s, i’ll give her yours.” you signed into your laptop, your fingers clacking.

“that’s not a deal! we have no say in this!” he protested.

“it is a deal. i would simply like to know if mr. tough guy is actually a man of his action.” you smiled.

“a man of his action? y/n that makes absolutely no sense.” spencer raised a brow.

“no it does! you get it, like a man of his word, but derek’s always flirting with people so it’s a man of his actions! you get what i’m saying!” 

“i don’t actually.” spencer eyed emily as she appeared behind your back and whispered something in your ear.

“if this is about that deal the two of you made, i don’t want to know.”

you gasped. “8? that’s not that bad.” you whispered back.

“i know. now gimme the details or i will never speak to you again.” she whispered and squinted at spence.

“10.” you leaned your mouth away from spence so he couldn’t see and he furrowed his brows.

“holy shit- y/n, how are you still alive?” she shook her head.

“sometimes i wonder that too.” you snorted and went back to your work as emily walked away muttering something along the lines of “i should’ve gone for reid instead.”

spencer leaned over the space between your desk.

“you’re gonna pay for that tonight. let’s see if you can still walk tomorrow.” his eyes were dark and you shifted in your seat.

he smirked, clearly glad with the outcome of what he had done.

you were going to regret this.


End file.
